When I was younger, I loved creating. I drew pictures, formed sculptures out of clay or countless tubs of Play Dough. I wrote stories in a little book that my mom and I made together (a leftover piece of red poster board cut down with some of that crazy old-school green/white striped printer paper sewn inside). I played in my imaginary fort that was my parent’s dining room table with blankets strewn across it and the chairs. My creativity and imagination was limitless.
And then I went to school and was told in so many words that I was to bottle that creativity. To only allow it out during art class or when working on special projects. My doodles and stories came less and less.
By college, it had all but dried up.
I don’t know what caused me to want to start writing again other than to journal my thoughts during the time I was receiving some counseling. I also don’t remember how I came to start sharing what I was writing with a few select people. All I know is that to be able to express myself in this manner made me feel more alive than I had in a long time.
A friend encouraged me to share what I was writing with the world because she felt that it offered something that others needed to hear. Over a year, a blog name and re-branding later, here I am.
I’ve struggled with trying to determine what my calling is. I have passions in things left, right and center, but I just don’t know what it is that God placed me here for.
And then I read Annie’s words in her letter, “your talents”, and my mind was effectively blown!
“But there was a talent I had buried in my heart that I didn’t want to bring up. It’s that thing you want to do with your life that you quietly Google sometimes or tell one friend once in college or ask your mom about in passing once, hoping she will actually think it’s a great idea.”
I want to be a professional writer.
I want to encourage people, and inspire people, and make them pick up a highlighter and color across my words. I want to touch their lives. Make them think. Make them cry. I want to be a professional writer.
I don’t know that it’s my “calling”, but it’s what that thing that burns deep within. I don’t know where to start. I want to make it happen. But I’m afraid I’ll fail.
I’m going to go put on my brave right now and see where God leads me. Will you?