At Home // Let’s All Be BRave

When one of the pastors on staff at my church announced to the congregation that we’d be sending a team to Haiti to deliver 200+ water filtration systems, my heart did somersaults in my chest.It was a terrifying and exciting thing to sign up for a mission trip, especially to one of the most impoverished nations in the world.  Bravery felt like it was flowing from my finger tips as I wrote my name and contact information on the sign up sheet in the back of the worship center.

I had just received the news that I was losing my full time job, and I had yet to receive word on a new place of employment, so I was putting all my eggs in God’s basket on how this would even be possible, with a price tag of $1,500 for the trip.

Just a week after bravely scrawling my John Hancock on a piece of paper, I was approached my a sweet couple that wanted to fund my trip in full.   One of our pastors who would be helping to lead the trip grabbed me up in a hug when he heard the news.  There was so much excitement and I was thrilled that God had come through.But just as sudden as the somersaults of my heart had started, it came to a halt. As I sat in my living room whispering prayers over preparing my heart for this trip, I felt a whisper come back that simply said, “It’s not your time”.  And the reality sank in as I came face to face with the reasons that I had signed up for this trip in the first place.  No, it’s wasn’t my time.  My heart wasn’t ready.

And since I turned down this fully funded trip and had to face the disappointment of my pastor who was so gleefully celebrating with me before, I knew that I needed to take a hard look in the mirror and learn what was really going on in my heart.

“Why does it sometimes take more courage at home?” – Annie F. Downs
Why was I so eager to go and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ (even for selfish purposes) to a people that I would never see again, when I sit quietly in an office forty hours a week with people whose salvation is questionable? Why have I wasted Saturdays and full evenings in front of Netflix when I could be serving my community at our local Soup Kitchen or through other outreach events, but was ready to hop on a plane and travel miles and miles to a foreign land and people?

And I think it all comes down to fear of rejection.  These people in my office, I have to face five days a week.  What if they reject my sharing of the good news?  What if they begin to look down upon me, or worse yet, complain to the higher ups? What if I lose my job and end up where I was months ago, facing unemployment?

So how do I overcome this fear of rejection?  Trust.  Trusting that the weak parts of me will strengthened by a power not of this world.  Trusting that the One who overcame the world and death will send His Spirit to walk beside me.

That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:10
Quote- At Home

About

Bree is a recovering perfectionist, whose weaknesses include the clearance rack at Target and anything pumpkin flavored. Though she is an introvert, she has an insatiable craving for community and desire to bring light to God’s purpose in the imperfections of life. Read More