Alone Under the Mistletoe: Surviving Christmas as a Single - www.imperfectvessel.com

Alone Under the Mistletoe

Being single for the holidays can easily put a damper on all of the happiness and glee that surrounds Christmas and New Years.  There are reminders everywhere that you have no one to loop your arm through as you do your shopping.  No one to hold the ladder as you lean precariously to straighten the star atop of the tree.  No one to wash the dishes after all of the holiday baking.  No one special to add to your gift giving list.  No one to sit beside at the family dinner, except for your great aunt.  And there’s no one to meet you under the mistletoe.
It can be downright depressing when loved ones ask the dreaded question, “Why so single?”, during the family Christmas meal, especially when they don’t believe you that you’re happy just as you are….single.  It can also be destructive when you allow yourself to wallow in despair of their constant reminders that your left ring finger is still bare.  So how do you survive the holidays solo?

A Solo Christmas

Christmas is much more than shopping, baking and wrapping gifts.  It’s more than just opening gifts, eating and drowning your sorrows in another glass of egg nog.  It’s a time to come together with family, some of whom you haven’t seen in months (or years) and celebrate another year full of blessings.  It’s a time of year that you can look back on fond memories of Christmas mornings clad in pajamas, waking in the early morn and racing to see what Santa had left under the tree.  It’s a time of year that you can take a moment and breath in the beauty of the decorations, the smiles and the laughter.It’s also a time of year to reflect upon the greatest gift of all, the birth of a Savior, who came to this world in the humblest of ways; that he might dwell among us and understand the trials that human life holds, and ultimately die in the most barbaric of ways to cleanse us of a sin that only He could wash away.

It’s a time to focus on what Christmas really means, not as an “unattached” individual, but as a Child of God, a member of your family and as a friend.  So this Christmas instead of wallowing in self despair…

  • Take pictures: capture precious moments of family and friends as you celebrate, to hold on to those memories for years to come.
  • Play with the kids: their parents will thank you and you’ll find yourself smiling before you know it.
  • Help out in the kitchen: even if it is just serving drinks, it will provide a sense of accomplishment.
  • Give thoughtful gifts: it will show that you took the time to consider each recipient and their wants/needs.
  • Create a Solo Christmas tradition: treat yourself by buying yourself a gift, or treat yourself to a nice dinner out with friends.  Maybe just spend a night beneath the glow of the Christmas lights as you write out all of the things you are thankful for this year.  Or watch a favorite Christmas movie with a bowl full of goodies that have the right to hog all to yourself and not share.  Whatever it is, do it for yourself!

A Solo New Years

This holiday often gets more people down in the dumps than Christmas because of that fateful kiss at midnight, but it doesn’t have to be another day to feel sorry for yourself.  If you receive an invitation to a party – GO!  Even if it’s a party full of couples, it’s better than sitting at home ringing in the new year by yourself.  You never know who else they invited, that might be single, and that you could potentially hit it off with.This is also a night that ushers out the current year and welcomes in the new year with open arms, so don’t allow yourself to end (and begin) a year in a state of hopelessness.  Utilize this time to reflect on all of the things you accomplished in the current year and to plan out how you will live your life in the coming 365 days.So this New Years instead of hiding out at midnight…

  • Invite others to join you in a group hug and sing Auld Lang Syne.
  • Take pictures of couples enjoying their New Years snog, to share with them later.
  • Allow yourself to be a bit obnoxious by banging pots and pans to welcome in the new year.
  • Bring along a teddy bear to give a hug to at the stroke of midnight – others may want a squeeze too.
  • Create a vision board and draw up a plan of attack on how you will achieve these goals and share it with others to inspire them and also to provide you a sense of accountability.

So see, it’s possible to survive this time of year.  As long as you don’t bury yourself in a plate of cookies and a copious amounts of egg nog, you’ll be just fine!  And you never know what Santa might leave under the mistletoe for you!

Merry Christmas, you fabulously free-to-do-as-you-wish individual! I hope it’s one to remember!

Do you have any favorite SINGLEHOOD traditions you observe during this time of year?

8 comments

    1. Thank you, Michelle! I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to comment!

  1. Hi, Bree! I’m single in the earthly sense, too, but I truly believe Jesus is my bridegroom: my provider and protector. I cherish this time of singleness so I can draw close to Him, spend hours in devotion to Him and saturate myself in His word. If singleness is difficult at this time of year or any other I recommend the wisdom in the teachings of Michelle McKinney Hammond. Personal relationship with Jesus Christ is what matters most. When we focus on Him the rest falls into place in God’s perfect timing and will. (Matt 6:33). Trust Him! He knows what you need.

    1. Laura,
      Thank you for sharing such inspiring words! I’ve never heard of Michelle McKinney Hammond, but I’ll be sure to check her out, thank you! I also love the inclusion of Matt 6:33 – his perfect timing is all we need to know…and trust in! Many blessings to you on your journey as well! Merry Christmas!

  2. Bree, all good suggestion on getting the focus off ourselves. Hope you enjoy a wonderful holiday season.

  3. thank you… I needed this post!

  4. Lauren, I am so blessed to know that the post touched your heart. I pray that with New Year’s Eve just around the corner that you can look to it with confidence and joy and know that you (as a single) have every right to celebrate as much as couples!!

  5. This was a really great take on being single this time of year. I’ve been struggling with being single this year the most because most of my friends got engaged this year. I’ve recently felt down about it because I don’t have anyone for Christmas or New Year’s Eve/Day, but I’ll just have to be strong about it and enjoy the time I have with friends and family. 🙂

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